


Heartless

by Giaruu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Also mentions of cutting fingers with glass but nothing very graphic, Bitter-sweet at times, Donghyuck is sad, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark doesn't know what to do at all, and confussed, but not only him, but not really, heartbroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giaruu/pseuds/Giaruu
Summary: Donghyuck was confussed sad and so alone in all of this.But was he really?Mark thought he was destined to see only darkness of the abyss, but then, the sunshine came.And he was falling even harder.





	Heartless

\- Mark Hyung, why are you doing this to me? - A quiet voice rang in the room, interrupting the silence that made Donghyuck even more nervous. His voice trembled, unsure of the upcoming outcome.

Mark looked away from the book he was actually reading. His face was beautiful, wide, deep brown eyes and soft skin. He was so handsome, Donghyuck wasn't sure anymore whether his legs felt weak because of the nervousness enveloping him or because of that stunning face, that was now blankly staring at him.

\- What? - The older boy calm voice filled the room, and Donghyuck felt sick in his stomachache at the listlessness in his voice.

_This_

Thought Donghyuck, sighing deeply even more unsure. Should he continue? Will it just make everything worse?  
He fidgeted on the sofa he was currently sitting on, quite far away from his friend.

\- You're so coldhearted to me. Avoiding me, ignoring when I try to talk. You even run away when we're in the same room, alone... - Hyuck could feel his voice crack in sadness, so he talked quieter and quieter not to let the other one hear how desperate and pitiful he was.

Everything was alright, from the start to... Donghyuck didn't even know when it started. One day they were laughing, playing games the next Mark was not as talkative, and excused himself every time Haechan tried to start a conversation. The following days were even worse, he distanced himself even more. Running away, going out of the room when Haechan's foot reached it. But the worst was - Why did he looked at Donghyuck, stared even, with such concerned, enigmatic expression? Everytime the younger boy looked at him back Mark turned his face away, pretending not to look. And Haechan noticed the shadows under his eyes, and that he barrely ate at all.

\- Hyung, did I do something wrong? - Haechan cursed at his still trembling voice that indicated his weakness. But it was true, he was fragile. Without Mark by his side, his best friend from early days it was so hard. Those things could happen, he knew. And if it did ever happened, the first person he would go to cry out his frustration would me Mark. But... what did he had to do, when the reason of his sleepless nights was Mark himself?

Mark who didn't responded at his question at all, and Haechan snapped.

\- You're doing it again! Again, ignoring me! - The younger boy cried out, standing up and making his way to the black-haired boy, who didn't even uttered a word.  
Was that disgust on his face? Or pity? That mysterious expression, wide eyes and not a shadow of a smile. Nothing like his friend at all. - It made Donghyuck so frustrated.

He looked down, tightening his little fists out of anger and lack of understanding, his fingers decorated with multiple band-aids. Red, full lips starting to tremble and his usually bright, chocolate eyes now were filled with diclose and tears. He felt so wrong, not knowing whether it was his fault, if he has done something wrong or whether Mark got tired of his hyperactive dongsaeng or maybe something worse. But Hyuck didn't know, he didn't know at all.

\- Minhyung Hyung... I cannot. I can't hold it. I don't know what I did wrong, if I did something wrong, but... - His voice broke again, salty tears running down his soft cheeks. It shouldn't be like this, Mark always made his smile not cry. Donghyuck doesn't even remember when was the last time he cried, other than a week ago when he noticed the older boy playing with the other members happily, but then when Mark noticed him making his way toward them he just flew. Leaving everyone stunned and confused. The glass of water Donghyuck was holding slipped from his numb fingers onto the wooden floor, making a wet mess. With wide eyes he began collecting the shards, not noticing that his fingers got cut badly as he only could think about the dark void of Mark's eyes that used to shine gleefully but now were filled with uncertainty and other feelings Haechan couldn't recognize as bad or good. Only as he felt warm hands griping his bruised ones, taking them away from the sharp objects he also noticed the wet paths traveling down his face, down his chin and onto his shirt. Then he noticed the blood on his fingers and floor and the stinging that came suddnely. Taeyong cleaned his cuts, patched them well but still looked concerned and scared as Haechan cried and cried, even later that day and night, in his small bed. And despite trying to stay quiet Doyoung still could hear the small sniffles, in their shared room, that made his heart clench in sadness and confusion.

Mark was staring at him now, still with an expression Donghyuck had never seen in his life. The once warm eyes were filled with sadness and something that looked like fear.

The red-haired boy didn't want to see those emotions, he wanted his friend to be back, he wanted for them to be as they used too.

\- Even if... The only words you could say to me were judgments, insults filled with contempt. I still want to hear them. - Said Hyuck, looking down with empty gaze, he couldn't bear to look his friend into the eyes. - I just want you to notice me, just to say something to me even once. - His voice broke down, becoming quieter. He bit his lower lip to stop his pitiful sobbing, but a frustrated cry still left his mouth.

\- Please.... Why are you acting like you're heartless? - Asked the younger boy, a big pain flooding his chest. He hoped, even just a little, that maybe this time Mark wouldn't ignore him.

He didn't expect things to go this way, it was so bizarre to feel Mark grasping his bruised, clenched hands, to see him standing up and to be pulled closer to his warm body emitting oh so familiar scent he missed so much after so long. He didn't expect at all to hear loud sobs and to be wrapped in strong arms, holding his so tightly yet so lovingly like this hug could cure all the pain he went through. It was so much, but never enough. He should ask, what does it mean, perhaps, he should be mad too. He had so much to ask, but at this moment only the warmth of the other boy, his strong hold and soft scent was all Donghyuck could think of.

He cried, holding onto Mark tightly, wrapping his arms around his lean torso, sobbing into the crook of his neck. Wishing it was another situation, not a pitiful cry scene of two nearly adult boys.

After that, the flood of confusion and frustration filled him, so he tried to maintain himself and not wanting to let go of the lovely embrace, he moved his face out of the other's shirt, so he could mutter small words.

\- Why?

Was all he could say at that time, then he could feel the other boy loosing his strong hold around him and again he feared the upcoming. He was scared, dreaded that he again irritated his band mate.

\- Donghyuck... - Mark started slowly and his dearly missed but broken voice sent shiver down the other boy's spine. He wasn't't sure if it was caused by the tone of voice, or the fear of the next sentences. He looked into the black-haired boy's glistening eyes that suddenly came closer and closer. Soon he could feel Mark face pressed into the crook of his neck, his warm lips grazing the tip of his ear and his face become red at the sudden contact. He could feel Mark's warm breath on his neck.

\- I could never insult you, nor judge you for anything as I myself have gave you so much pain. - He could feel his unsteady breath on his face. 

\- Hyuck, you said I act like I'm heartless... - Whispered Mark And Haechan could feel his own pulse speeding up.

\- Maybe I am after all... - Haechan could feel his own chest clenching in great pain.

\- But you're the one who stole it. - And Haechan own heart pounded so hard.

There was so much to say, to tell the other he didn't understand at all, or that it wasn't fair, not in a single bit. But then Mark's soft lips were on his, leaving sweet kisses that Donghyuck never though could be real but wanted them so much to be.

Because it was even more than Donghyuck even imagined getting from this situation, he could only wrap his arms around the other's neck reducing the nearly non-existing distance between their bodies. He felt the wetness on his face, and he wasn't sure if it was him or Mark crying, or maybe both at once.  
In the end their lungs were calling for air, so they broke the kiss, the black-haired boy warm hand resting on the red, tear-stained skin of Haechan's cheek. The skin so soft, warm in touch and color that remained Mark of the most beautiful sunset. Hyuck's eyes were closed, his dark, long lashes wet and full, red lips swollen from their first bitter-sweet kiss. In this state the younger face, or at any other occasions, Mark could only say Beautiful. But then Donghyuck opened his eyes, the color so deep and endearing, the emotions so vivid and raw. Mark could only gasp as his legs went weak, but he had to get a grip and explain. Because he couldn't bear to look at his friend so broken because of his own and only his fault.

\- I... - His voice cracked right at the start, but he figured that after all of this it would stay like that for a while. So he continued, his warm hands now resting on the bruised fingers and clenched fist.

\- I am so sorry... - Mark's eyes glazed with tears again as he looked down at the band-aids too afraid to look up. He tried to silence the loud sob, but even if he did, still his body trembled under the force of the emotions running through his body. He cried, delicately holding his friend's fragile hands.

\- I was so afraid, of feeling like this. Feeling those emotions towards you, that grew and grew and become so much more after a while I just couldn't... - Mark muffled another sob striking his lean form down his spine.

\- I was afraid of myself, I was afraid of you hating me, thinking I was disgusting. Because if I did something wrong, said something I shouldn't, because it was so new to me. - His trembling voice quieted down a bit. With fear, he looked up, at the stunning face of his dearest friend.

\- But I should know, you would never hate me, because I could never hate you. - He whispered the last words then suddenly, in a blink of an eye, his lips were again so close to Donghyuck's. He could feel the warm but shaking fingers on his wet cheeks, wiping away the salty tears he never knew he had so much of. The soft touch caressing his blushed froms embarrassment skin, making his so shy under it, under Donghyuck intense gaze. Donghyuck eyes filled with adoration, understanding eyes with emotions he himself wanted to give to the beautiful boy. Another wave of bitter tears shook his body.

\- How can you still look at me with those warm eyes of yours with so much fondness when I hurt you so much? - Mark cried, feeling his legs gave up on him at the still glistening gaze.

\- Now I know you were afraid. - Said Donghyuck softly, still delicately caressing his friend blushed cheeks feeling the older boy crumbling under his touch.

\- I am still afraid too. - Added Donghyuck nearly whispering, moving his face so close to Mark's that the black-haired boy could feel his warm breath on his already burning skin.

\- But now I've got you. - As the red-haired said those words, his sweet lips brushed against the soft skin on Mark's forehead. It felt like honey, the sweetest from the best place in the world. The soft kisses traveled down onto Mark's closed lids, each one of them getting a loving cares from Donghyuck soft pecks. Then his red button nose, his tear-stained cheeks and lastly the trembling lips of his.

The kiss was so sweet, better than honey, or any candy that Mark so adored. And with his eyes closed he still could see the caramel skin, the deep chocolate eyes and cherry lips. And it was like the most beautiful sunset in his life.

\- I have your heart now... And I won't give it back to you. - Donghyuck whispered lovingly against his swollen lips.

 

Mark didn't want it back, as long as he could keep the Sun of his life close to him forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I have written a few stories for NCT, I love them all so much and want them to be well forever >.<  
> This is my first MarkHyuck fanfic, I hope you like it. I usually stick to fluff but suddenly I felt very melancholic, and this came out. But it was still a very good story for me, I could never write a sad end for one of the boys I love so much ah >.<
> 
> Or maybe I could, but not this time! 
> 
> Also I hope everyone understood the plot and all, I tend to write chaotically, so sorry for that.   
> Please share you opinions! Also sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out! (a whole story as a mistake doesn't count, I know it is one myself haha)


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